let it be me
by Matsuri1
Summary: yet another songfic... *sigh* what can I say? Duo's actually a thougtful idividual behind his mask, and Heero hides more than he should... Between Duo's thoughts from his diary on life and war and Heero's thought's about his secret love, what else can i


* Author smiles politely, still lost in her mess of papers. ~ Hey, I found something to write with, even if it is a colored pencil ~ *  
"Look, I really did get bored. No, there's just this song I really, really like and have wanted to write a fic with for awhile, and it suddenly came to me… but you don't wanna hear about that. Yes, it is another songfic, but hey give me a break… I'm notorious for writing long fics…"  
"Her first was a novel!" her entire group of anime addicted friends add all too happily.  
"As I was saying, this is the only way I can think of to teach myself not to… so deal. Um, kinda 2+1-ish… but, I dunno. It's been a rough week so I'm not entirely sure what I wrote. * pouts* And no, I don't own Gundam Wing OR 'Let It Be Me' by Indigo Girls. Enjoy, and please, please, PLEASE(!!!) R&R!"  
On that note…  
*…* indicates song lyrics  
~…~ are Heero's thoughts   
… are little Duo quotes (hey, he can actually think hard about stuff… after all, it is his diary.)  
  
LET IT BE ME  
  
* sticks and stones*  
* battle zones *   
* a single light bulb*  
* on a single thread for the black *  
  
Duo lay on the floor of his small room, sprawled out with a pen and notebook in front of him. He'd never thought of keeping a diary before, but he needed someone to confide in. As he drifts to sleep the pages turn from the breeze.  
  
* sirens wail *  
* history fails *  
* rose colored glass *  
* begins to age and crack *  
  
Humans are to learn from history and past mistakes… or at least that's what we're told. I wonder why no one really does. Are we doomed to repeat our ancestors' mistakes, or do we really have a choice? Where is history now?   
  
* while the politicians shadowbox *  
* the power ring *  
* in an endless split decision *  
* never solve anything *  
  
Heero sat downstairs watching the television. A political debate was of most interest at the moment. Politicians… the lying bastards…  
People fight over power like it was something priceless… Everything comes at a price. I don't have time to wait for the politicians to make up their minds while my life slips away.   
  
* from a neighbor's distant land *  
* i hear the strain of the common man *  
  
There is an unrecognizable voice calling to me… begging me to save them. It is for them that I fight… my neighbor and my friend…   
Heero felt a strange urge overcome him. He felt as if someone was calling him, just looking for someone to confide in. The truth was, so was he.  
  
* let it be me *  
* (this is not a fighting song) *  
* let it be me *  
* (not a wrong for a wrong) *  
  
I never wanted to fight this war… but it has turned into a battle of survival and a struggle to find myself.   
Heero stood up from his seat, leaving everything, and walked down the hall.  
  
* let it be me *  
* if the world is night *  
* shine my life like a light *  
  
If I have no choice but to fight, then let my life be an example. Let the whole world see the injustice and cruelty of war through me…   
Heero peeks into the room at the end of the hall. Seeing that Duo was laying on the floor asleep he slips in . For some reason, watching the boy sleep captivated him… behind the mask, Death was truly innocent.  
  
* well the world seems spent *  
* and the president *  
* has no good idea *  
* who the masses are *  
  
But no matter how I have or will suffer, I know I am not alone. Millions suffered the same beginning, and the path I lead is walked now by five.   
Just as Heero sat down on the edge of the bed Duo sat up, yawned, and stretched. If he had any chance of making it out of the room, he would have taken it.  
  
* well i'm one of them *  
* and i'm among friends *  
* we're trying to see beyond *  
* the fences in our own backyard *  
  
We are never truly alone in anything we do… and we never have to look far to find a friend.   
Duo tilts his head, looking at Heero with a crooked, sleepy grin before yawning again, "Did I forget something? I'm sorry… I just kinda…"  
"No, it's not that."  
"Oh… then what?"  
"Nothing," he replies coldly, turning and walking out.  
  
* i've seen kindoms blow *  
* like ashes in the winds of change *  
* but the power of truth *  
* is fuel for the flame *  
  
Nothing lasts forever… no earthly kingdom or power will ever last more than a second in the life of time.   
Heero stood at the end of the hall. He never could understand why he acted like that… it just happened. That was something he never enjoyed… that ruxh of emotion he just couldn't control.  
  
* so the darker the ages get *  
* there's a stronger beacon yet *  
You know, this period in history should be considered, at the very least, a reoccuance of the Dark Ages. Civilazation is once again at it's lowest.   
Suddenly Heero felt extra weight on his shoulders. Duo folds his arm around the boy's neck and rests his head on his shoulder.  
  
* let it be me *  
* (this is not a fighting song) *  
* let it be me *  
* (not a wrong for a wrong) *  
  
Fighting is a part of me now, whether or not it is wrong… It's who I am. Still, I would give it all up just to save that oen special person.   
"What's wrong, Heero?" the boy whispers gently, in an extreme sincerity that the other had never heard before, "I can tell something's bothering you,,,"  
"He shakes his head slightly, "It's nothing."  
  
* let it be me *  
* if the world is night *  
* shine my life like a light *  
  
It is not alone that I can be an example for generations, because alone I am not complete… but let me still be that model, imperfect like all other humans.   
~ You don 't understand, Duo… I can't talk, I have no emotion. The perfect soldier can't love, especially not an angelic being like you… so innocent underneath the mask. Even I am not that perfect… ~  
  
* in the kind words you speak *  
* in the turn of the cheek *  
* when your visions stays clear *  
* in the face of your fear *  
  
Pacifism, turning the other cheek… that is needed to keep the peace, but now we need to fight to establish order… there is no other way to attain that peace.   
~ I don't understand how you're always so kind to a cold hearted person like me… ~  
"You know, Heero, there's always been something I've been afraid of… death…"  
  
* then you see turning out a light switch *  
* is their only power *  
* when we stand like spotlights *  
* in a mighty tower *  
  
I shall never give them control over my mind and sould… my body means nothing. I shall never give in.   
Heero was slightly taken aback by the comment, but Duo continued just the same, "I decided to face my fear after telling a good friend about it… I became Death. That's when I realized… outside influences can't control me."  
He turns his head to look up at the boy, "Do you want to talk to me?"  
  
* all for one and one for all *  
* then we sing the common call *  
  
even if I never tell them, I will always be there for those like me, even after I'm gone.   
~ I can't say it… I'm not that strong. Oh, Duo… I want to be there for you, but I'm afraid I'll fail you…"  
  
* let it be me *  
* (this is not a fighting song) *  
* let it be me *  
* (not a wrong for a wrong) *  
  
It is too late to change each other… but as for the new generation, there is still hope. Let us not pass on the wrong done to and by us.   
Duo stared at Heero intently and mouthed a few small words. When he found his voice, this was all he had to say, "When you're ready and need someone… let it be me… Please?"  
The last word, though it sounded normal, was hurt and near begging. Letting his arms slip from their place, he walked back down the hall.  
  
* let it be me *  
* if the world is night *  
* shine my life like a light *  
  
All I want is to be there for my one and only, Heero-chan…   
Heero stood staring down the hall after Duo.  
~ It will be you and only you… just promise I can be yours… ~  
"I'm sorry…"  
~ Aishitte'ru yo… ~  
The pages of the diary still fluttered in the breeze. Duo picked the book up and set it gently next to his bed.  
"Let it be me…"  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
Thanks to those of you who did bother to review (what, one person?) but hey, i finally got around to fixing this and thought i'd let ya know.   
Ok, i'm kinda thinking of entering either this or a kiss in the rain in a fanfic contest, so please, please, please review and let me know what ya think and how to fix it. 


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